Friday, February 17, 2012

i have a problem

I have an ugly secret that keeps me up at night
on a usual basis.

 I have 3 major things
that are always on my mind.

1. being more healthy/working out ect.
b. daily, weekly, yearly goals

lastly and more embarrassingly, 
I am mourning lost time with my baby, while she is
still a baby!

the worst part is that I realize this is a problem
and it still continues.

without exaggeration, not even a little bit, this is what my day is like..

I lay on the floor next to baby girl and play with her 
for a while, 
then I tell myself to leave her alone for a bit
because little ones need to be okay being on their own
and to learn
to be content playing all by their little self.
while I let her do this, it eats me up!
"I'm loosing time with my little 8 month baby
that will be 9 one month."
Go to bed at night and think to myself. WELL, there goes
anooother day of my baby's babyhood.

All the while she is loving the space I give her. She soaks in EVVVVERY minute.
she is the most independent child I have meet in my LIFE.
 she whacked herself on the head and it hurt
her little feelings.   Naturally I pick her up and, trying not to smother, I give her loves.
she was not a fan. 

My sis-in-law told me a sweet story about
how her little boy went and stayed at a neighbors for a bit
and she walked in and he was playing happily 
with toys and then when he looked up and saw her, he
buried his head in the carpet and sobbed
like he had had the worst time of his little existence
and was relieved to be reunited with his mom.
(he and Reags are very close in age)

does Reagan react similarity?
not even slightly. 
She is a loving baby. truly!
generally to babies.

gives lots of loves to one of her best friends and cousin, Cade!

lately, she has given her dad and I kisses
without being asked.
we'll take them :)

p.s. I am glad she is who she is. 
all whining aside.
she has the best little personality.


  1. You really do have one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. Ever!!